Ppl think I’m crazy for entering into a physical relationship with someone that I actually love, and a college athlete at that (as my mom will remind me whenever I’m talking to her about things & they’re not going too hot).
Ppl think I’m crazy for telling said male that he’s a grown man & he can, & will, do what he wants (in regards to having other sexual relationships).
& in some ways, I am, because it’s not very easy to think of him having sex with someone else, let alone permit it.
But, what people don’t seem to understand is that my situation is complicated, & yes, sometimes it’s hurtful. At the fault of no one in particular.
He doesn’t do things to hurt me. & I don’t expect the things he does that hurt me to hurt me.
It just happens that way because my feelings are involved.
Could he be better to me? I mean, yes. Probably. Could I be better to him? I mean, yes. Probably.
The situation is complicated & I feel like maybe we’re both just learning.
He’s learning how to deal with my feelings; I’m learning how to deal with his ways.
Ppl will tell me “But Bri, you need to be happy too” & yes, that is true. But my happiness does not come from him; my happiness is mine alone. It comes from how I choose to deal with these situations, how I choose to react to them.
I knew exactly what I was getting myself into.
I just didn’t know my feelings would make it difficult to handle.