I was having a conversation about this exact subject (color blindness, racial inequality, etc. etc.) earlier today with my parents and some family friends. As a white person, there are certain things you WILL NOT experience. Regardless of what you think. One person saying they’re better than you is nothing compared to the shit that minorities deal with day after day. There’s not a class on the development of white children, yet there’s a class on the development of black children. There’s not a class on Caucasian psychology, yet there’s a class on African-American psychology.
If color means nothing, can you please explain to me why those classes exist?
Can you explain to me why there are more minorities in prison, more minorities dropping out of school, more minority neighborhoods without the help that they need? Why is it that black children in mixed schools are more likely to realize where they stand in society BASED ON THEIR RACE? Why is it that there are studies showing that a large amount of black children believe that white people think lowly of them due to their race?
Color blind my ass.
Also, I know not everyone’s going to like me… I don’t like everyone. And that is fine. I have a complicated personality - it goes every which way every other day. One day I hate everyone, the next day I love everyone, the day after that I hate myself, etc. etc. I am passionate about certain things and not afraid to voice it. I have a bad temper which I have gotten down to a point where it generally only reaches the level of irritated - meaning I don’t get angry often. I’m moody; I’m probably kinda contradicting in ways; I’m stubborn; I’m random; I’m distant. That shit is not for everyone and I can completely understand why.
But when you are unfamiliar with me, you do not experience any of that. And if you have not experienced me being happy as fuck one second then depressed then irritable and shit. If you have not had at leaaaast two conversations about Chris Brown with me… If you have no idea what me being “distant” means.. You do not understand who I am, what I am, or anything.
You assume that you understand things that you do not. You assume that you can judge me based off of a certain thing but you cannot.
Actually “getting to know” me requires a lot of patience, understanding, and willingness to not press personal questions or talk about romance and all that bullshit.
I am admittedly difficult to understand; I am admittedly not easy to get close to. But if you really know me (as well as you can at this point in my life), you’ll realize that I have such a huge heart and an urge to help people and listen to people and support people. You’ll realize that I am ridiculously goofy - even more than you guys have seen. You’ll realize that I am driven, that I am (though I hate this word) loving. And you’ll probably even realize that because of some of those things I sometimes fail to put myself first and I often push myself too hard, expect too much.
It is impossible to be able to make an accurate judgment of me based on one or two text posts or one video or whatever because my personality is just.. so much.
There’s so much more to me than the average person really gets to see.
I think that a general problem among this generation is our egotistical ways. The inability to step back and examine a situation reasonably, without focusing solely on how that situation impacts what you’re doing is actually rather debilitating. To be able to step outside of yourself and examine a situation and say “Okay, you know what? That was wrong. I should have approached that differently.” or “I’m not going to do x, y, z because ___” is something I find incredibly valuable in life.
Am I guilty of it? Lol. Yes. Yes, I am. But I wouldn’t consider myself egotistical; I’m more.. defensive. Very defensive. And at times, irrational. And at other times, I speak on impulse rather than gathering my thoughts and say things that I, ultimately, don’t mean.
But I do make an effort to try to say “Okay, my opinion does not always need to be heard” “My opinion is not always right” “I shouldn’t say ___ because I don’t want to offend ___”
Are there some things that doesn’t work for? Lol. Yes. I’m strong-minded and sometimes when I come to a conclusion, that’s it. You can’t tell me shit. And attacking me or whatever else won’t help.
I won’t always be right and if I am wrong and realize it, I’ll apologize. I try my best not to degrade or belittle others because I’m not above anyone; we’re all at the same level, ultimately. I’m a student, a sister, a daughter. You’re most likely a student, a son/daughter, etc. and we all just generally want to succeed, be happy, be loved, and live a good life.
That’s what shit boils down to for me.
As much as I’d like to be that “happy-go-lucky” person with no strong opinions and shit, my personality just doesn’t allow for that. But part of growing up is realizing negative traits and trying to make them positive or at least be able to acknowledge that it is negative.
To find myself, to know myself, I have to learn how to understand what I am and am not. I am still a complex person to me which is why I know none of you know me enough to be making judgments. I am still figuring out who I am.
You cannot know what a book will be when the author is only on the first page; you cannot know what a painting will be when the painter has only painted one stroke. And if that author or painter does not know what they want to write/paint, then it is impossible for you to know because it has not been determined yet.
I’m not sure if that makes sense to you all, but it seemed sensible when I typed it…
If you want me to treat you like and/or respect you as a man, you have to act like one. You don’t get to be a man just because you hit a certain age or pay certain bills; being a man is just as much about maturity as it is responsibilities and I refuseto treat a male like and/or respect a male as a man if he is not acting like a man. If you don’t want your “manhood” questioned, then grow up, get off that “macho” high horse, and learn how to act like the adult you claim to be.
- Males that talk about the behavior of a woman yet constantly degrade, belittle, and disrespect them.. How are you criticizing others when your personality leaves much to be desired?
- People that accuse someone of being stupid yet are clearly not the brightest of the bunch.
Just.. Where is the respect? I don’t understand. And I’ve been seeing it from males on this site lately way too much. Idk if y’all niggas are gettin’ too comfortable or what but it will never be right to disrespect, belittle, or degrade a woman.
If you claim to be a man and are talking shit about a female, be a man and address that shit properly. You cannot claim to be a man yet blindly attack a woman. Learn how to be a man, then maybe (but not really) you can speak on the actions of a woman.
I hate when people are like “SO… tell me about yourself.”
I think my personality is beyond that ability. There is literally no way I can accurately tell you about myself.
You just have to get to know me, period.
You can’t ask me those dumb ass basic personal questions; you can’t ask me to tell you shit about myself. You just have to talk to me and figure shit out gradually.
*Can you tell I’m procrastinating? Lol*
- The sleepy voice. Hopefully, all the ladies know what I’m talkin’ about. If not, I feel bad for you because you are missin’ out on a spectacular ass effortless sexy sound.
- The jaw clench… You guys should already know how I feel about it. It is sex. Simple sex.
- Now, this ones a little more sexual but.. Them niggas that cuss lowly when they’re fuckin’. I salute you, sirs; that’s that shit I do like.
- The look. Which I do not know how to describe in any other way. It’s just.. Like.. It’s the look. And it’s sexy. And maybe you know what I’m talkin’ about.
- Any of that assertive shit. Yes, sir.
If you do some grimy shit to me in any way, just know I will never fuck with you again. Straight like that.
I don’t hate you; I simply don’t want to be bothered with you. I do not want your bad aura all up in my shit.
Oh shut the fuck up. Nigga, you’re flawed.
Sit your religious ass down somewhere; just cause you wanna go around livin’ your life based on a religious text and shit doesn’t mean we all need to follow your weak ass example.
Sittin’ around talkin’ about God and shit; meanwhile, you over here actin’ like you’re better than me because you go to church on Sundays.
I guarantee you there’s some murderers that go to church on Sundays too.
You tryna tell me that a nigga can kill his whole family and still be better than me cause he goes and prays afterwards?